I'm 25, and my mom is super uninterested in my two kids. She's never babysat for me, when she sees them, she says hi to them, but doesn't hug or kiss them. Even in desperate situations, like when my husband got into a car accident, and broke his hip, totalled our car, and I was 8 1/2 mo pregnant and I had to go to the ER for my husband, she still wouldn't watch my son, bc she "had to work"..... she owns her own business, it's something she totally could've postponed! She has never been there for me (well she used to when I was younger). She gets drunk several times a week, and puts me at the end of her list. Her business, and drinking is more important to her than everything else. So, how do I get to a point where I just grow up and stop "needing" her? I have a wonderful mother-in-law, who goes out of her way just to see her grandkids, who lights up when she sees them, and whose always there when we are in need. I have a great relationship with her, so why isn't that enough for me?
My husband was divorced (somewhat bitterly) from his first wife of 17 years (about 4 years ago). We have since married. We all live in the same city, and we are cordial when we see any of his ex's out and about. However, some of them still have a lot of animosity towards us. He does get along with some of the family members yet, and can hold conversations with them when he/we see them out. Here is the problem............. His ex-niece (20 years old) was killed last night in a horrific car accident (it shut the interstate down for 5 hours). He is at odds with himself as to what to do for his former family. He still loved his niece, and would talk to her when he would see her, but he doesn't want to cause any problems with the other family (the ones who are still holding a grudge) by going to the funeral. Please help.
My brother is well on his way to becoming an alcoholic. He's 21. Two months ago he drove drunk and crashed, totaling his car and getting 5 tickets. The state made him go to classes but they don't seem to be helping because tonight he's incredibly drunk. He's actually been sober for about two months but now... But tonight I can't even understand what he's saying. He likes to drink heavily. He blew a .22 when he got in his accident. He won't be driving tonight. So, my question is, how should I handle this? Is there anything I should do or would it be best to stand back and let everything run its course?
I'm 17 years and in my senior year of high school. I don't think I can take another year with my parents. They are they meanest, most spiteful people I've ever met. They're authoritarians, known as the drill sergeant parents. I don't get freedom. I'll break it down. Mother-All she ever does is NAG! You do one thing she ha a problem with and she'll drag it out for an hour. If you walk away, she'll keep going! She likes to put me in situations where I'll get in trouble. She'll tell me something she knows will piss me the **** off, then get mad when I get angry about it. If I'm happy, she'll do whatever she can to crush it. I wake up on a Saturday morning, go downstairs and the first thing out of her mouth is to go clean her bathroom, meaning the bathtub with a goddamn toothbrush. Even though I have two younger teenage brothers, I'm the only one doing chores on weekends. She cares nothing about other people's feelings. When our computer was thought to have gained a virus from downloading music(It wasn't) her first and only idea was to stop us from getting music at all. None of our radios work, I'm banned from listening to it in the car with her there because my favorite music(Hip-Hop &R&B) because she hates it and now she is trying to ban me from downloading music. She won't buy me CDs and she won't let me get a job to pay for it myself. She cares nothing about my life, she doesn't know my favorite color, what I like to do, she can barely remember what school I go to. All she sees in me is the son who will be buying her cars once he gets a six figure job. She wants me to be a pharmacist instead of a doctor because, they start earning the money earlier than doctors. Her favorite is my younger brother, the middle child. Father- Biggest bully I know. He seems to have anger management issues when he is talking to me only. Everyone else he has the most patience for. When I was younger, I got beat for every small thing. To this day, I flinch anytime he moves his hand and I refuse to let him get too close to me. He considers me a horrible driver. The only two accidents I've been in, I was rear ended. The law, the guy who hit me, both insurance companies, the repairman and everyone who knows says its his fault. My father is the only one who says it was mine and to this day, brings it up every chance he gets. After each accident, the first thing out of his mouth was, How bad is the damage? Not "Are you alright?" or "Is anyone hurt?" After the first one, he asked if I was alright a few days later but I found out it was only to get more money out of the guy if I was hurt. I am the opposite of everything he envisioned when he found out his eldest was a boy. He cannot show me off athletically to his friends singe has little use for me. Not that I'm in honor societies, not the fact that I'm one of the few black teens in my school not getting arrested, getting some hoe pregnant, or a pathetic druggie. I was never good at athletics but is that really a reason to hate me. The middle while is the eldest in his eyes, his pride and joy. He's good at athletics but will not settle down and do his homework or help out the youngest with his, unlike me. My cousins are more of sons to him than I am. He enjoys putting me down about everything, especially my weight. I've been trying but trying is not enough for him. I've considered offing myself multiple times. People usually wait till your gone to give two f**ks. Talking to friends help but there are somethings you can only talk to parents about. I can't talk to them, they don't see anything wrong with the way they treat me, and nothing I do or say will change their minds. I tried talking to another adult and I got punished, very badly. Wheneverwe go to church and the priest talks about obeying your parents, they will constantly talk about how im a sinner for not doing just that. But when it is time to talk about treating your kids right, their suddenly not Christians anymore. And for those about to answer with the usual" be grateful for what you have" just because you have a parents doesn't always make you luckier than someone who doesnt. If a child is behind abused badly by his or her parents, are you saying he or she should be grateful they have parents(that rape, beat or bully them) at all? I don't know what I'm going to do. I still consider suicide every now and then.
My Mom was in a bad auto accident and is so sedated and cannot talk at this time and I don't know how I can pay her bills without her consent. She is incapacitated at this time and could be for months and I don't have access to her bank accounts as she lost her bank card right before the accident. The longer she is in the hospital the more her bills will be in bad effect and I honestly don't know how to obtain this information and have tried to search on the internet for answers but have found nothing on this topic. I don't even know if I can have her utilities turned off. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has advice please help. Thanks so much.
So here is the story My father in law has been living with us for about 25 days now. He is filing for bankruptcy after a lifetime of bad financial decisions and waiting for the proceedings to go through. Recently my in laws sold their apt in New York and bought a house in Florida for my husband's 36 year old brother, wife and kid. My husbands bro is basically a loser and is the only 36 year old man I know who has never ever made a mortgage payment and will never have to. (this makes me very angry because the inlaws were supposed to keep some of the money from the apt sale to supplement their retirement- instead they spent it all and some savings on the loser brother) Anyway my father in law had a fight with the loser son and now refuses to go to FL to stay with in the big house he bought him. Instead he is staying with us in our 600 sqft apt and its driving me crazy. I am a student and had a very stressful semester and just want to regroup and relax this summer. I want to get healthy and make some lifestyle changes that i want to follow through with in the fall. BUT now I have absolutely no privacy. I can;t make the health food i want, I cant listen to music and dance around in the house we cant even have sex properly because of the size of the apt and I am so frustrated. I am basically stuck in our bedroom the whole day just counting the days till his court date. Now it seems as if the date could be pushed back again and i just CANT DO IT ANYMORE! Worst of all my husband whom I thought was concerned about me is apparently having difficulty deciding what to do. I told him to speak to his father and tell him to make up with the loser brother so he can go stay in FL and not in our tiny apt. but now he's like if you ask me to do this I will remember it forever. ( WTF am I supposed to do) I have done nothing worng. I;m frugal, I dont spend much money, I dont go out with my friends I'm a good girl and I take care of him. Now I am feeling so betrayed. I dont know what to do. Please help.
Let me explain, my mother is never there for me, not when I graduated from college, not when I was in the hospital from a car accident. She claims she hates to drive. So now I have cut her off from me, but my other relatives say I'm wrong. I don't hate her, but I want her to see how it feels to have nobody when you're in need.
I have noticed loads of social values disappearing over this last 20yrs, and people getting more arogant and more apathetic. Do you feel that people shouldn't park their cars on pavements unless they are unloading etc? If so - please fill me a questionnaire in- or at least answer my questions:Everything we do to stop social values being eroded is important and feedback of public opinion is too; would you contribute by filling me a questionnaire? If so- here it is: Questionnaire in relation to restriction/obstruction of footpaths/pavements due to parking of cars. Please circle your answer. 1/ Considering the Highways act of 1835 that reads: “If any person shall wilfully ride upon any footpath or causeway by the side of any road made or set apart for the use or accommodation of foot passengers; or shall wilfully lead or drive any horse, ***, sheep, mule, swine, or cattle or carriage of any description, or any truck or sledge, upon any such footpath or causeway; or shall tether any horse, ***, mule, swine, or cattle, on any highway, so as to suffer or permit the tethered animal to be thereon;. Do you feel that mobility scooters that are specifically designed to be used on the footpaths/pavements of today should be allowed on them? YES/NO 2/ Considering the Highway Code Rule .244 which reads: “You MUST NOT park partially or wholly on the pavement in London, and should not do so elsewhere unless signs permit it. Parking on the pavement can obstruct and seriously inconvenience pedestrians, people in wheelchairs or with visual impairments and people with prams or pushchairs.” Do you feel that car owners must not park on pavements if there is going to be obstruction caused? YES/NO 3/ Do you agree that to have a car parked on the pavement when a drive is empty is completely flouting the law YES/NO 4/ Do you consider the uncaring attitude used when parking cars in this way, is a sign of the disintegration of social and moral values and that laws should be enforced to protect these values being eroded further? YES/NO 5/ Do you know whether the local council or the Police are responsible for enforcing the law on this issue? YES/NO 6/ If you had issue with someone parking their car on a pavement resulting in your own endangerment; i.e. you had to go onto the road to bypass the car- Would you feel it worthwhile to make a complaint? YES/NO 7/ If it was a neighbour and they didn’t respond to your satisfaction, would you address the situation by making a formal complaint? YES/NO 8/ Do you realise that class 2 invalid carriages/mobility scooters (maximum speed 4MPH), are not designed to go on the road? YES/NO 9 Do you think that a lack of enforcement results in social disharmony and in your opinion, can this issue lead to community relations being frayed and possible antisocial behaviour or crime? YES/NO 10/ Do you consider that pedestrians should be courteous when encountering a mobility scooter on a pavement knowing that an elderly persons reactions may be a lot slower than someone’s a lot younger? YES/NO 11/ Knowing that elderly people may have to travel into a road, school children may have to travel into a road and young mothers with infants in prams may have to travel into a road, because someone has carelessly parked their car: Do you feel that more enforcement of the law is necessary? YES/NO 12/Realising that this behaviour can offend people or even cause accidents: Do you believe there are wider implications and social values can be protected via more Council or Police enforcement of the law? YES/NO 13/ In your own words, will you please give an opinion on this issue in the space below? Thank you for your participation, this questionnaire will be used in compiling a report with productive suggestions that will be forwarded to both the local Police and Council
A little background on the situation. My best friend of twelve years had a little girl about two years ago &for a Christmas gift her and her husband made me the god mother. I'm very close with my god daughter, I babysit her quite often. I attend all her doctor's appointments, she has Cystic Fibrosis. I do not drink, smoke, do drugs, i've never had a speeding ticket or been in a car accident. For a long time I was more educted in her medicine than her own father. Her father is an alcoholic who had a suspended license and left his family every weekend to party, drink and go to strip clubs. I routinely took care of my god daughter when my best friend (her mother) and her husband (her father) were separated. At which time my best friend would would go out with other men while I took care of her daughter. She did not directly ask me to do this but I did not want my god daughter around strange men so I offered to babysit. Many times this was late at night. My best friend's mother in law threw various objects at her son while he was holding my god daughter. When my god daughter was ill and only 8 mos old they left her in the hospital for days at a time without any visitors "because they had to work" when her father works in the same city as the hospital is located My question is why am I not allowed to take my god daughter to the park or anywhere for that matter? I feel bad that she has to sit in the house all day. My best friend's husband acts as if i'm an irresponsible person who is not to be trusted. I have not brought this up with my best friend because I don't want to start friction in our relationship.
my older sister was in a car accident today... but she is ok...her car is gone, but she is ok a guy ran a red light and hit her front end.. then he flipped over 3 times... but my younger sister is upset because when it happened she was turning out of target because she had just exchanged a bathing suit and was on her way to bring it to my little sister at my uncles house... now she thinks its all her fault because she asked her to do it, and that if she didnt then it wouldnt have happened i tried to explain that the man was breaking the law by speeding and running a red light, and that it could have happened anywhere.. but she is hysterical.. how do we explain that it is NOT her fault.. ?
My husband and I moved in with my mom a few years ago we were down on our luck we had one child that lived with us and two that came every other weekend we helped out financially after 2nd month and she asked us to stay permanently cause it was easier on her. We stayed for 4 years but it was miserable my mom thought that I was her personal everything . My husband was offered job in Florida so we decided to move there we gave my mom three months notice cause she was spending money left and right and had to file bankruptcy and was on the verge of loosing house we were paying half of all the bills and she was making more than we were it was just that she spent every penny one QVC and Ebay and HSN that is not our fault . She decided one week before our move date that she wanted to move in to an apartment so I helped her find the apartment and my husband moved her in to it the day that we were moving now we have moved back to Texas from Florida and she expects me to come to her apartment and clean it take out her trash and do all her shopping for her and pick up all her mail I have told her that I can not do this that I have a family and I am a child care provider out of my house she thinks I we it to her cause they foreclosed on her home that she chose to move out of oh my sister in law offered to but the house from her and she said no s am I wrong for telling my mom that she needs to get off her but and and do things for her self
My husband recently got laid-off. We live in Central New York but all are family lives in North Carolina. We have to file for bankruptcy because we can't afford our bills now. My in-laws have said that we can move in with them. I get along with my in-laws but my mother in-law is a pack rat. She literally keeps everything. They live in a single wide mobile home with three small bedrooms. They have said we can have the larger of the two extra bedrooms and maybe the other one as well. We have a three year old son. My mother in-law has good intentions and says that she will clean out the rooms but I know that when we get there nothing will be moved. I would also like for her to give us some space in the kitchen and refrigerator for our own food. How do I ask her to put more of her stuff in storage like she has offered to do. Also what is a good way to bring up the subject of boundaries?
my life keeps getting better n better. my godmother died few days ago my grandma has cancer my brother in law got in a motorcycle accident and now my Dads missing.... He was supposed to go to an important meeting this morning (he works as a real estate agent)...he didnt go and his partner called his wife and told her and his cell is off and its Never off.. should i start checking hospitals in the area hes in, astoria ny??? Im getting really panicy and thinking the worsT...some suggestions please...i know i cant report this to the police until 24 hours after....
I'm only 12 and I have a great life and friends ; how come my sister gets to live her life until 18 in new jersey when she has her license and everything and my parents are wanting to move to VIRGINIA. I just wanna cry...i have a life here and i don't wanna move!!!!!!!! At the time, my dad is in terrible physical condition and his business is in dept. I was where they were talking a few minutes ago and he was saying "We should just file bankruptcy and just sell this house. I'm under so much stress with this business. I have to get up every day at 5:30 am when I want to sleep. I just can't handle this anymore I'm getting old and I wish I could just retire but we need money. We should just sell this house and move. Eventually we are doing that." I had to leave the room before i started crying. I can't stand Virginia!!! No effence but I HATE their accent and everything about that place- the country and no stores...whats up with that? I'm a city girl and I want to stay that way. My dad
I have a terrible relationship with my mother who is now close to 80 years old. She became pregnant with me by accident and was always cold and mean to me. She lies about me and says terrible things about my home and husband. For this reason and many more I do not talk to her and have changed my phone number. This is not without guilt but I have a toddler and a babe on the way. My pregnancies are difficult and I can not take her hang up calls and stress right now. She is now calling my mother in law and harrassing her, putting me down etc... She is even involving my brother who I also do not speak to|( I am mad at him for not getting her medical help... "he refuses and tells me to mind my bees wax) So my mil gave her the cold shoulder and now she is calling her and hanging up out of spite... What would you do. ?????
Two days ago, my uncle George died in a car accident. He was moving his great-granddaughter and granddaughter. His daughter Reba was driving (she is fine, although abusing her pain killers). As soon as possible, Georges other two daughters, Debbie and Bobbie, flew down to his town to be with family and take care of everything. Now, the granddaughter (who WAS moving) decided that very night that she wants to take his house. And before Debbie and Bobbie could get there, the granddaughter and her mother Reba went through Georges house and took as many valuables, his credit cards, anything they could find. They also took his will and testament. Reba has convinced Bobbie that it would be okay for her daughter to move in, "because she doesnt want her to carry any guilt". (might i add that her daughter has many many abusive, alcoholic, druggie boyfriends and she loves to party, hence the reason she was kicked out of her last house) Debbie is against it, along with the rest of the family, who do not have a say because it is now technically the three daughters' house. My question is, does there need to be an attorney to read the will (which Reba won't show anyone)? If the granddaughter gets the house, she will take everything. I am not super opinionated about it all, but am just saying it how I see it. How can the other family, like myself, get involved fairly? Should there be a mediator (like one of George's brothers or sisters) who should read it and decide what he would have wanted? Ugh it is just sad it had to come to this. Thank you for reading and hope to get some advice.
About 2 years ago my husband lost his mom and younger sister in a horrible car accident. His younger brother was also in the accident and survived. My husband and I have fought for custody for 2 years and were finally awarded with it recently. We had visitation so he knows my younger daughter and myself and we all feel like one big happy family. We were talking today and he asked if he could call me mom. I don't know what to say. My husband still has not dealt with the loss fully and I don't know how he's gonna feel when we talk about it later tonight. Does anyone out there have any suggestions
My cousin just turned 18. Shes been through a lot, but is by no means disabled or incapitated. She had a rough childhood, being physically and mentally abused by her father, since she was little. She was in a car accident, and almost died. She has a minor brain injury, but functions like any normal person. The only thing is that she isnt as mature as the average 18 year old. Her mother treats her like shes 10, has to be home by 9 oclock on a saturday night. Even if shes over her familys house. She has a list of chores to do everyday. If she does not do them exactly and perfectly she will be punished/grounded. She cannot do anything that a normal teenager can do. No going to the movies at 8 clock at night. According to her mom, that is way too late for a girl her age to be out. She wants her to grow up, but yet she wont let her, wont let her act her age. And our own family is in an uproar over all of this. All she needs is some guidance, not to be a slave for the rest of her life. So now her mom wans to get power of an attorney and get guardianship over her. Is she just ****** up in the head, or is this something that would be for the best.
I honestly don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and plan to get married this summer and we have two children together. And since the beginning of our relationship I have had problems with her with I could deal with before but know that we have kids I just can't take it anymore. What really pushed me over the edge was last year when we where living in their unfinished basement of their 6000 sq ft house (since we weren't allowed to take a bedroom since they didn't want us to wreck the floor) while trying to get a house of our own, our two pomeranians were not allowed in their house because they were not fixed and my in laws said the dogs would ruin the house, even though we gave them one of the puppies that our dogs had and that one was in the house and defecated and urinated all over the house and would bark non stop, well one day while i was at work and my dogs where out in their cages in the garage in middle of the summer somehow my bright red dog got out of his cage and my mother in law must not have seen he was out and went to leave in her car ( to see her husband since he works in the neighborhood) and somehow my dog was in the road and she hit him and he died. I got the phone call at work and came straight home only to be told by my father in law that i HAD to tell my mother in law (who was hiding in between the back seats of her car) that it was okay that she ran over my dog and that i was not mad at her. And still to this day we can not talk about my dog because "it upsets her too much" and if we do say something to her about it she runs to her husband and tell him we said something so he calls my boyfriend and yells at him for bringing it up. And the biggest problem that I have with her is with my children. I do not speak to my mother because she is an alcoholic, so I wanted my children to at least have one grandma so I tried to get over all the issues but I can't. When she had her two kids they NEVER were put into car seat she just held them until they were too big, then they just roamed the car, and she has tried to let that happen with my son, I have told her no on multiple occasions and one time my son had an accident in the car and i left his extra clothes at her house so i took off his pants and underwear and wrapped his bottom with my sweatshirt and strapped him in the car seat since we were 5 minutes from her house. My son was upset because of the accident and not having extra clothes so he was kinda throwing a fit about getting it the seat and my mother in law says oh well leave him in the back with her other son and she will drive home as fast as she can, but i strapped him in anyway, and went to walk around the car to get in the front seat and when i got in her ten year old was trying to unstrap his car seat and my MIL knew it and didn't say anything so i had to tell him to leave my son alone, he is fine. And another occasion while my son and i were with her he was upset about being in the seat so long so she stopped the car and asked me to let him sit in the back seat, without a car seat, and i told her no. but I think that she lets him when I am not around because after he comes home from her house he refuses to sit in his car seat and she does not put a winter jacket on my son, she thinks putting a blanket on him is sufficient enough, or she will take off his jacket when we get into the car, even though he is fine with it on. Another thing is that she lets my son sleep in bed with her when he sleeps over, which he sleeps in his own bed at our house. (Her eleven year old son is still sleeping in their bed and she still wipes his butt after he has a bowel movement). And the worst of it all is that she obsesses over my son's pee pee. She will always offer to take him to the bathroom or give him a bath in with after wards she is always examining his pee pee and touching it. Even her own husbands agrees. I have not confronted her about it, i just try and take my son to the bathroom or not let him take a bath while we are there, because i know if i do she will just run to her husband who will just call and yell at my boyfriend which is the last thing he needs (working 53 hours a week at full time job, also being a paid on call firefighter for our town, and taking classes to further his career as a firefighter) And I don't appreciate her making all her little comments towards me trying to make me feel like i am not a good mom. She is somewhat a hoarder and has just about every toy from both of her two sons. She lets my son play with the toys and sometimes take them home, but says she wants it back, she comes to our house she goes to his room and goes through all his toys taking what are hers and sometimes even taking toys that aren't to bring back to her house, and i have told her to stop letting him bring home toys but she does it anyway. I don't know what to do to stop her but still let my kids have a re
Lions, Tigers or Bears? Credit Counseling, Debt Settlement or Bankruptcy? I'm a 27 yo english major and have been paying off 24k for 8 years and as a result of a job loss last year and having to return home to a more depressed local economy, I cannot afford to pay rent anymore, am 4 months, late on my car payment and working two $8/hr jobs.. I'm stuck at home for who knows how long. My dad offered to pay half of my payment to a credit counseling agency every month, but for the next 6 years. Would it be right to hold that to him? Sometimes I feel more comfortable just filing for bankruptcy but he is telling me not to. What should I do?